Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
