he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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