he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
