In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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