I love black thongs
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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