I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think your dad took our porno
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He did a backflip because drugs
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
