you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
