If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
