I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
