living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
time to smoke my breakfast
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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