I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
