**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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