did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
