p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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