Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
