Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm getting married
To pizza
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
