its not stalking. its research.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
