my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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