How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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