Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
