i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
