Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
