she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
