she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
