youre lurking in front of me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
