Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
