I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
