currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
