She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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