We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
