So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
thus making me awesome and them whores
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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