I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
