went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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