I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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