Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
