i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
