So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
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