So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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