I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
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