you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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