that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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