She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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