i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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