Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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