went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize