I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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