Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
