You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
