I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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