I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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