he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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