You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You may now shotgun with the bride
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
