Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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