He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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