I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
