My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
