R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
