dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
