were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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