neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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