Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
