they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
