Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
