I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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